Discriminative intuitions -2-

Making explicite the pros and the cons of being racist.

Trame :
Vous vous appelez L., vous vivez tranquillement dans un univers parfait. Votre but dans la vie, c'est de réussir votre vie. Pour y parvenir, il vous faut tisser une toile sociale afin de multiplier vos opportunités de réussite.

Elément perturbateur :
X cherche à vous assassiner pour une raison inconnue ; le but étant de ne pas se faire avoir tout réussissant votre vie le mieux possible.

Entire article here.

Why are we seeking for more traffic?

The other day I was adding my blog to different search engines, and abruptly stopped:

Why the hell am I trying so pitifully to promote my blog?

When I was 14, I enjoyed fiddling with HTML, FrontPage, Dreamweaver, Flash. With a friend we built up our webpage and our first thought was to promote it. I do not remember very well why, perhaps we were proud of it and wanted everyone to aknowledge our webdesigner skill. Once again, it was not a target we were really conscious about.

In 2001, same refrain. I had an online art portfolio and promote it without really knowing why. I think it was because I wanted people to confirm me that I was a good draughtman.

Few days ago, the same whim. I am not trying to earn money thanks to my blog, I am not looking for fame to be famous...

Question: Is there really a reason to spend our time promoting for our blog if not for fame or money?

Looking for debates? forums are more appropriates; to show-off my skill? There are easier ways; to meet people? There are better solutions too; and so on.

Some hypothesis:

1. To forge ourself an identity through the web
On the web we are anonymous and you need an ID. It does not explain why we want to be known by the others. IRL, we do not go to talk to everyone to tell them our name, do we? Self promotion does not seem very natural from that standpoint.

2. A glimmer -- more or less avow of hope to be one day famous -- or not to have the impression that we are speaking to a wall
Does not seem to cost a lot of time to promote for a website. Spending 5-10 minutes everyday.

3. We want our own thing
A forum belongs to everyone; if you own your own blog you are the master of puppets. You can say what you want, moderate the comments etc.

4. ?

Next post: Discriminative intuitions -2-

Discriminative intuitions -1-

In an old post I talked about 'chosifier'; with a blog I (have to) weight my words. Even if there is no one to read me there is the possibility that some wanderers land over here. This possibility, although infinitesimal, cannot be neglected. That is why when I blog I do it as though I have a readership.

When I write to post my blog I have the fear that someone might be reading me, so every word I write are questioned again. I think twice before I post it on my blog, and this is important because in life I never think twice as far as I did not notice that I am mistaken; when I noticed that I am mistaken it is often too late.

Here's a funny spillover of such a behaviour.

Few days ago, my younger brother -- who is 13 -- came back home with the face teared to shreds. He was beaten up but 3 Arabs. After mumbling about how to react? or at least how to avoid such a tragic event to happened again, I the virulent speech of Isabelle de N. Isabelle came to my mind. Isabelle de N. is an aristocrat -- a young countess. I have a very few affinity with her but that the moment at was quite in agreement with her. Here are fragments of a tirade of her.

The Arabs are thieves by culture. Set aside our courtesy and let's speak frankly. They do not have the same conception of private property as we do. No one talks about it aloud but everyone says it softly…. In their country they have no rights, if they came to France it is to do they cannot do at home… A gentleman would tell me that I am wrong; but have a look at the statistics and tell me who is wrong.

Arabian culture is more savage, they do not conceive of private property as we do. They are more tolerant about it [stealing]. They steal, they bark, they have stupid beliefs; they are not civilized at all.

Arabians are like the ivies... They are bacteria gnawing the purity of our race. Most of them are not only useless but also harmful to our society. We are just incompatible. It is impossible for us to live together. They are the gangrene of our species; we have to do something about them before it is too late.

An extrapolated interpretation would be 'they have to be put in quarantine then eliminated at a stroke.'

As a non-French, I was used to hate such kind of unjustified passionate racist speech, but I could not get rid of the terrible image of this little boy who is my brother. Little by little, I was starting to find some arguments that prove her right.

Usually, I do not classified people by species. When I was in elementary school, Dimitri C. (a kid of Martinique) or Yoni N. (a Jew) often manhandled me. I did not hate the people of Martinique nor the Jewish. I did not see Yoni as an Untermensch nor Dimitri as a nigger… As a child, you do not have prejudices solid enough have such a perception of life.

If there were no one to consider what I was thinking of, I would for sure have gone for something very close to Isabelle's speech. The first and main reason why I did not do it is because it would be a single ticket to the closure of this blog.

Translation in French here.

Next post: Why are we seeking for more traffic?

3 bad aspects of France

1/ Internet providers versus consumers
Before, there were few big Internet providers that were competiting, they were trying to eat the biggest market share. So we, consumers, often had upgrades and lots of improvements. Now, even though there are more Internet providers, they all practice the same prices and propose the same services.

2/ French versus English
France is one of the countries in Europe that speak English the worst. Indeed, try to propose a product with without an instruction translated in French and your sells will drop. What's more, commodities without instructions translated in French are prohibited since about a decade. As a result, lots of product are not available in France, you have to import and outch the wallet bites.

3/ Education
France's educational system is kinda poor. Thanks to the socialist system, the universities are not too bad, and consequently they are not very good either. The good school are extremely rare, so the places are very few. Only the best of the best of the best are admitted. It is a shame for those who would not be admitted because a lot of students desert better schools or at least schools more adapted to their level than the mediocre ones but there is just no -- places.

Things one should absolutely avoid

'One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.' – Oscar Wilde.

I'll take the example of painting.

Painting as a leisure is not the same as painting as a professional. As a pro, there are constraints. You can do all what you want, you have deadlines, you have restrictions of colours, you have a bunch of rules to respect. Moreover, if the rules are hard to respect you won't get paid better. An artist is not paid owing to the degree if satisfaction it procures the artist. As a result whether you make a picture you like or a picture you do not, it's the same tariff. There is first and foremost a problem of incentives.

Second thing is that as a pro you have to paint again, again and again. Tired or not. And like everything, if you always do the same thing day and night, day and night it will end up with annoy you.

If you want to enjoy an activity at its fullest; moderation the word you have to keep in mind.

The French elites about fashion

JULIE was chatting in front of the forefront of the university.

[JULIE is wearing a short black cloak by Miu Miu, perforated silver derby shoes by Dior Homme, a handbag by Hermès.]

ASTRID is with her.

[ASTRID is wearing a kaki leather jacket by Dior Homme, Fendi trousers, boots and handbag and belt by Gucci.]

ASTRID [looking at the people around]. There so many tasteless people around here.

JULIE. Yeah...

ASTRID. People with bad tastes in fashion should not try to reinvent fashion.

JULIE. True... I have some admiration for them though. They are so brave to show shamelessly their loutishness.

ASTRID [smiling]. And you call this braveness?

JULIE. Yes.

ASTRID. I wonder why they have that obsession to impress... whereas they should dress to express. Having bad taste is dreadful. Trying to dress well -- without succeeding. In a way, it is their unsuccesfulness that they are exposing, their imcomprehension of the world. On the other hand if you don't care about your clothings, the fashion faux pas would be so severely judged. People would not even care about them.

JULIE [laughing]. You sound so ridiculous when you talk like that Astrid.

ASTRID [smiling but definitely not enjoying her words]. Ah? Why so?

JULIE. I don't know you are too... involve in your discourse. You know what I mean... it's like, mmh, it's like you were trying to justify yourself. [bursts out of laughting] Excuse me Astrid. You are so funny when you try to be serious.

ASTRID. Yeah, I'm practicing. I try not to be so frivolous when I'm serious. But I'm not justifying myself -- justifying what by the way ?

Darren Rowse on why readers unsubcribe from a blog

A while ago, Darren Rowse published an interesting survey about why readers unsubcribe from a blog.

• Too many posts (the post levels are too overwhelming) - 37
• Infrequent Posting (or the blog is effectively dead) - 29
• Blog Changes Focus (too much off topic posting) - 23

It is almost like if you blog for yourself, people won't like your blog; if you blog for the others, you won't enjoy blogging. We should have as many blogs as we have topics of discussions to have a descent compatibility between the pros and the cons.

The illusion of blogging

To a certain extent, blogging may appear as flight to an unknown country, escaping the stress of life. Sometimes, it's nice to feel like a foreigner, freed of the prejucies. Forgetting the harshness of our past, restarting all over.

I created this blog to write down what I would not dare say IRL, and that is what lots of people do.

'Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.' -- Oscar Wilde

This blog should be my mask. I talk about my life and at the same time I don't want others to know about me. Here's the first paradox.

In fact, I want to escape from my acquaintances' judgement. I don't want to be judge on my blamable opinions. Sartre call that process 'chosifier'. I know that I'm a tad too amoral as I always frequent persons with a narcissistic pervert behaviour, I'm perhaps a little like them... Well, no need to draw you a picture, this kind of behaviour is extremely twisted and unacceptable in our society.

In everyday life, my friends don't know my past -- not my real past at least. They judge me on my current actions. I change my role when I am with the friends I like. I act generously, I always smile, I'm kind... and they like me.

In the web, it's different, I don't need to be so hypocrite. I can get ride of that constraint. I can express my real opinion. I don't always have to say what people want to listen, as I can have a pseudonym and be anonymous. However there is one condition. I have to change regularly my nickname if I don't want others to recognize me. Indeed, everything that last can be judged, what does not can't.

Concerning blogging it's the same. Perhaps, I'm anonymous for now, I can yell the most detestable opinions throughout the web but for a short period. As soon as you got a fixed identity, you are no more anonymous. It is a little problematic because in the end you are condemn to change blog all the time -- or not to have any readers at all.

The art of being superficial

I used to have a need to show off my weaknesses from time to time. I need to tell everyone how stupid I am, how shy I am... because in everyday life I always look like the contrary. People are used to thinking that I am a serious guy and everything because I do not talk much. So from time to time I need to come back to reality. In a way, I want people to accept me as I am. Only afterwards, I would accept myself.

But today, things have changed. I am getting more and more dishonest -- or rational. I do not need someone else to confirm me who I am. Maybe I am more confident than before, I don't know. It's weird. It happens that I lie absolutely naturally when I talk to people. I have lied to my teachers to turn a situation into my advantage. Some would call it manipulation, I do not disapprove. It is so easy to lie. We just have to know when to stop, gauge the risk of our lies.

Notwithstanding in the end, we always have to drain the poison. We have to confess somewhere, for instance here in this blog; and we can restart doing the bad things again. It has been so long that I have not confess my crimes. No one to talk to, no one to listen to. That is why I have this blog. Some lies are so horrid that they are harsh to confess even anonymously. It would ruin our own person, or may break good relations... People a so intransigent sometimes.

My friends never know about me too much. They just know bribes of me. It's probably the consequence of being a liar; sometimes you have to lie to your beloved friends. It's dreadful. Loneliness is an ineluctable consequence, a so sad consequence.

About me

I am gamer. I like to play and I want you to guess qui je suis. So first clue: The less you know me the more you will like me.
Guessed already? Okay, here's another one: The answer is unpleasing and begins with a H.

I'm in fond of art and all sorts of things related to art. However from an educational standpoint, I decided to study what I hate the most: economics.

'Why did not you dare living your life at its fullest by studying what you enjoy so much?'
'Work is 80% of our life, why should we study so hard to enjoy the 20% left?'

Everyone has ever heard these sentences I suppose.

Spending life doing what we love leads to a platonic love where the least deception is terribly poignant. Doing the contrary seems to be a perversion.

My friends often say that I should have engaged a cursus in art field because of my grand devotion for it. Occasionally I'm pleased to answer that they should have engaged a more detestable career owing to their passion.

To blog or not to blog

It's really bad. This blog is the second one I open today. I just opened it and I'm already thinking about closing it. Darn, I really have to make out what's happening in my mind before going for some actions.

So let's think about it right now.

Q: Why did I opened this blog?

The last one was in wordpress.com, it was slow, the design inflexible. With blogger it's faster and it is more compatible with firefox. There also are less bugs with Opera.

However the bad thing is wordpress got its own small French community. It's rather cool over there. Everyone knows everyone. What's more with wordpress there are more functions such as the stats thing, the widgets and all the gizmos. I also have the impression that with wordpress our blog is better rank in search engines.

Q: Am I going for a long term blogging?

This is certainly the most interesting question. There is absolutely no reason to keep on blogging if it does not last.

The real question is can it last?

Anybody would like to blog for a long period if his/her blog work well. The deduction looks pretty easy. This blog need to be successful then I will carry on blogging. The main problem with it is that I have to spend lots of time to advert, and I hate that.

So the subjacent question is do I want to do what I don't like?

God damn it no! I do not want to do what I do not like!

So well, with less than 5 minutes I figure out that blogging is really not something made for me. Nevertheless -- yes, I am tough -- I sometimes really want to share what is going on in my mind. That is to say, I occasionally want to blog. But I can't be very popular by doing this way.

The solution, the ultimate solution to escape this dreadful fate is to say that I blog for myself. No statistics, no feeds, no comment. Just me and my blog. I have to admit that it sounds annoying as hell but it certainly a better solution that to open a new blog each time I want to write a small note of about ten lines.

It is so dreadful. I so love blogging, I love writting so much. I want people to read my stories but I know that no one will never read any of them. Notwithstanding, I'll be blogging. This is what people call 'fate'. Reminds me of Aimee Mann's song, or the tragedie of Sophocles.

ps. Now that I'm using blogger it feels a lot faster than wordpress.com


EDIT:
Okay, I have deleted one of my wordpress blog to dedicate to this one. The handy side of Blogger seduced me. Well, as it is a blog for myself, I do not really need to advertise is not it?

This blog is so new, so empty that I want to fill it -- although with frivolous texts. But nobody cares about it, neither do I. So let's go. I'll be as honest as possible here. I'll be writing everything even the most shameful ones. In return, I will not divulge my identity. Never.